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Whispers in the Silence 

I’m learning slowly but surely how God leads. He knows all the parts and how they come together. Sometimes He seems too silent when I want Him to spell everything out clearly. Clear instructions written in the clouds. But not quite.

God is so precise in how He leads. He sees the whole picture in a way that I can’t.  It’s so much easier when I don’t have my own agenda.  So much easier when I count on Him to write the whole story  and not just a part.

I can follow,  I know I can. Even when it’s only His whispers I hear in the silence. He does speak, little brushes over our spirits. 

I haven’t blogged in a while mostly because I’ve been technologically disadvantaged for something like a month.  I apologise.  I’ve also been waiting a lot. And in this period of waiting, I have seen myself more clearly than I  ever have. It’s been refreshing.  🙂 

Anyone else  feeling God’s silence this season? Any lessons learned? 😀 

Bible Studies · Faith · Inspiration · Life Hacks · Spiritual

Tag! I’m It.

 Not my ministry, not my work, not my relationship or marriage, not the movie I want to make, not the help I want to give, not the things I know, not the ideas I come up with, not all my good intentions.

It’s like we’re in a game of Tag, and God says to us “Tag! I’m it.” That’s not how the game is played we say. “It’s tag you’re it, so I’M it.” We say. Duh, God.

“An idol is whatever you look at and say in your heart of hearts, ‘If I have that, then I’ll feel my life has meaning, then I’ll know I have value, then I’ll feel significant and secure.” – Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery (Pulling Back the Shades)
I said this quote over and over to myself before writing this post. My striving was exposed for what it was. I felt like I was watching a movie of my life plus the bloopers! I have made good things idols along the way. Some I recognized , and others I didn’t until now.

Can God fully and truly satisfy us minus all the other “good” things that we just must have? All the logical things that we just must have – that we are certain we need? Could we truly be satisfied?

The truth is I don’t have all the answers right now. But I hope to have the answers I need soon. My eyes feel like they’ve been opened. I had no idea that they were closed.

I’ve thought about Joseph. God gave him an amazing dream (two actually, but they were pointing to the same thing), but it took thirteen whole years experience what God had showed him long before. The dream was good – great even. I imagine what torture it could have been for Joseph if that’s all he thought about while being a slave and subsequently, a prisoner for a crime he didn’t commit?

How about Abraham? Father Abraham. God says to papa AB, “I’m going to give you a son. Like from your actual body.” He waits twenty-five years with his wife Sarah before that would ever happen. If all he ever thought about was having that child, what torture it would have been to wait without a set date? God didn’t tell him when. Not until a year before anyway.
God didn’t always tell people exactly when. Not Noah. Not David. He still doesn’t always tell us now. Wouldn’t it be torture if that’s all we thought about? When our God-given dreams would come true?

God doesn’t want us to look to any thing to fill us up. Even good things – especially good things – can become idols. God wants us to look to Him. He wants to be IT.

If I was really honest with myself, I would say that I would love to know what that’s like: A life of God completely satisfying.

I want to be full today. Always. Never wanting for anything. Come rain or sunshine. Through storms and stillness. To be truly full. Not ok. Not just ok.

I don’t want to strive anymore. I don’t want to push and claw through life. To have and have. I want my identity to be completely in Christ. My value, my significance, my happiness and joy, my peace, my hope, my adventures.

I know in my heart that the answer lies in saying, “Ok, God, Father…I give up. You be IT. Have it your way. I don’t like surprises but fine. Why don’t You decide where we’re going today? Why don’t You decide our activities today? You want me to go where?! Ok..? OK! I can do that. Do what?! Uhm..no problem. Wait? Err..sure. Anything You say is fine with me. I trust You with my life. You already gave me Yours. I’ve got absolutely everything to gain and nothing to lose if I realize that I’m not even mine.”

OK GOD. YESSS. I’M DOWN WITH WHATEVER. Yes, Lord, whatSOever.

Your turn.
 

Dreams and the Future · Faith · Inspiration · Life Hacks · Spiritual

Like Fresh Air

I’ve recently reached a milestone in my life. Its probably the reason I’ve been moved to break my blogging silence. 😊

I am truly happy and encouraged that God was with me through my struggles and brought me out of them. I’ve learned so many lessons in the process, but one of the most important lessons I’ve learnt is that I have to trust in God no matter what, and I have to depend on His strength. 

Even when things seem uncertain, God is able to deliver us from every kind of trouble. That’s about the most important lesson I’ve learned. 

I’ve learned other lessons as well. I’ve learned that God loves human relationships-He created them. And because He designed them, He also designed the rules of engagement. For every kind of human relationship to work, there must be boundaries. We must know those boundaries and function within them for our own good and the good of others. And if we ever find ourselves breaching the boundaries and giving birth to Ishmael, we must learn to say goodye to Ishmael, pray for our Ishmael, but wash our hands off concern for the child. This is because as God said to Abraham, Ishmael cannot share in the inheritance of Isaac. It may have seemed cruel that Abraham had to send away his own son, but it was expedient to do so. 

I’m learning not be afraid to say no, and not to ask for permission to do so. I’m learning to trust in God’s principles and in His design even when they seem contrary to my feelings. Above every person, living or dead, God is our greatest lover and biggest supporter. So let’s trust in His love and darn every human device in the name of love (which God is by the way. God is love). 

I’m so blessed and encouraged to be out in the luscious green plains. Freedom smells like fresh air! Thank you God!

Dreams and the Future · Faith · Inspiration · Life Hacks · Spiritual

Restless Spirit

For the most part of my life, I have been defined by my dreams and ambitions. GREAT ones at that. The more impossible, the better. Every year was lived for the year or years ahead. The past was a great resource and the future was my passion. But the present? Hmph. Dread. 

Actually stopping and living in today? Actually not trying to make tomorrow fit into my lofty ideas? That’s scary. How does a person do that? 

One day, I realized that I was in Tomorrow. Tomorrow was today. Big revelation. What have I accomplished with my life? 

Today, I penned down my most significant experiences. I didn’t go into much detail, but I penned them down nonetheless. They didn’t consist in any of my supposed successes. They had more to do with the people I had blessed in some way and those who had blessed me. With a smile. With words. With their lives. Specific points in my life that have affected me. They were about people. They were about the love and patience of God. 

I’m restless as I usually am and  the source of my restlessness is fear. Fear that I would be wasting God’s precious gifts-especially the gift of time. I imagine that greatness is about businesses and legacies and some great deed that makes the world pay attention and applaud. I realize that I am wrong. To be greatest in the kingdom is to be least said Jesus. 

But what if I miss these opportunities? What if my life doesn’t make a dent? What if I live out my life like every normal person? Fears. Perfect love casts out all fear the Bible says. I could never be normal if I choose love. Loving isn’t normal. Loving is hard some times. Often. A lot?

God, I really want to understand this. Please Lord, help me be transformed by the truth. Thank You LORD.  

Amen.

    

 

Bible Studies · Faith · Inspiration · Spiritual

Certain Truths

I believe that at this time God is calling me into a new way of life. Whereas, previously, I was building the Tower of Babel, now, He wants me on the ground. He wants me to till, to plant, to water and to wait patiently for the harvest!

God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is steady foundation that I can lean on. God is truth – there is no falseness in Him. He is light – in Him there is no darkness at all.

My Heavenly Father wants me to know that some things are certain: God, His love and His Word which is unshakeable truth.

I’ve been called to worship Him in spirit and in truth, in simple child-like faith, without ambition and without worry.

So many things look different to me now, and I’m rediscovering who God made me to be. By this I mean that He is opening my eyes to every needless weight my soul has borne so I can be as free as a bird to serve Him.

It’s all new to me. I fear stumbling, but God reminds me that some things are certain. God is unshakeable truth. God IS and that’s all that matters!

Amen.

Thank you LORD!

  

Faith · Inspiration · Spiritual

Re Dedication

“Yet I still belong to You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but You? I desire You more than anything on earth. My [strength] may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my life. He is mine forever.” -(Psalm 73:23-26)

I wrote the following in my journal on the 13th of June. It’s so relevant to me today.

Rededication:

  
Maybe I’m the best person to write this because I know what down looks like.

I tentatively accept the embrace of my Heavenly Father who has been waiting patiently and hopefully for my form to appear in the distance- prodigal.

LORD, lead me wherever You will. A day with You is better than a million elsewhere. Your love for me is what keeps me together in spite of myself-my self, which is sinful.

I love You back, LORD, and with everything in me. I give me wholly to You. You know everything about me. Please fill me with You. I want to be like You.

LORD, You can have everything – every moment of my life. Please accept me broken and unclean. You know how to bring light out of darkness. I’m all for You- You alone have the words of eternal life.

I accept Your own way. Every thing about it. I’m the freed and enslaved of Christ. I know You will never leave me. You will preserve me. 

Preserve me.

Amen.

Dreams and the Future · Faith · Inspiration · Spiritual

Little Faith and Faith in Little

“One thing I have asked from the Lord, that will I seek after- for me to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to see the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.” Psalm 27:4 (MEV)

Elijah was escaping from the hands of queen Jezebel and was led by the angel of God to the mountain to speak to God. The Bible records that a great wind came, but God was not in the wind. Then an earthquake-God was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake, a fire. But God was not in the fire. After, the fire, a still small voice. That’s where God was found: in the simple, small, quiet and ordinary.

There’s something new God is showing me in my life; something I’m embracing the whole way now. 

LORD, I’m choosing to follow this way You’re carving for me. I’m choosing to take everything in the little doses You let me experience each day and each moment. Drop by drop. Piece by piece. In little portions. Little seed sized faith to little seed sized faith.

I’m not going to seek the great wind or the earthquake or the fire. It’s faith to faith and its mustard seed-sized. I don’t know why, but it is in the little, quiet, humble and ordinary that I find You- that I hear You clearly and experience You fully. It’s like You like to dwell in the mustard seed-sized ordinary moments.

Now I’ll be quiet like a weaned child. We’ll wait together. I hear You, LORD.

Amen.

Faith · Inspiration · Life Hacks · Spiritual

“Baby” Steps and Acts of Love

(As in steps like those of a baby-if that makes any sense 😀) Anyway…. 

Jesus said that unless we receive the kingdom like a little child, we cannot enter it. He said this while carrying a little child on his knees in front of all his disciples which included a cross section of adults on the outskirts. 

I love children. On Easter Sunday as on some Sundays, I spent my time with children. Crying, happy, carefree, rough, playful, attention seeking children. And I loved every moment of it. I enjoyed every bit of the generous love they welcomed me with. They were so easy to please, so simple, so willing to receive what ever it was we offered. 

They didn’t like everything: some liked stickers but others did not; some crafts were popular and others weren’t. They were messy, didn’t want to obey the instructions all the time, but they were so open to receive. Open to hear what we had to say, open to play the games, open to sit around with a group of other children they didn’t know and just simply be. 

They didn’t do anything grand or super special. They were just kids that wanted love and attention and we’re ready to pour it on whomever was ready to receive it from their little hands.

God our Heavenly Father wants us to be like them. He knows we are messy, we don’t always want to obey instructions and we are each unique. He wants us to be open to love and to receiving love freely from Him. He doesn’t need us to do something super special. He wants us to take baby steps- to emulate the babies in our individual walks: Simple, flawed and receiving our Father’s perfect love.

SIMPLE, FLAWED, and RECEPTIVE to our Father’s love. 😊

Faith · Inspiration · Life Hacks

I Think I Just Owned My Life!

Oh LORD,

Please help me to embrace my life- to own every part of it. Help me to acknowledge that even the painful parts are mine.

Sometimes I’m tempted to run away from it- to deny that it is mine. Help me not to run away but to own it and give it to You. If I acknowledge it then I can say, “LORD, I give You MY pain,” and You can be Lord over it.

I’m owning it all now- everything.

It’s not easy, but I feel at home now in my own skin and in my own life. If I am pinched, it will hurt. If I’m embraced, it would put a smile on my face.

I don’t understand it all, but I think I just owned my life!

Thank You LORD! ☺️

Dreams and the Future · Inspiration · Life Hacks · Spiritual

Simply Living

What would my life look like if I wasn’t pushing too hard? If I sometimes pause- wait to let things unfold? If I allow myself to create on some days, and to savor another’s creations on some other days? If I trusted that God wasn’t blind to the needs of the world and that He had a way-a system in which I was but a tiny part? If I wasn’t trying to be the boss of everything when there is someone I call Lord? If I could learn not only to give but also to receive? If I trusted myself- my life to the One who above all can be trusted? If I lived like someone who waits for instructions whatever form they come, like the instruction to wait? If I remembered that God created all things richly for me to enjoy? If I never forgot that above all, He loves me and will never leave me?

What a life that would be! 🙂

I realize that there is so much of life that God wants to show me- that He wants me to be a part of if only I would let go of my own way of thinking in exchange for His.

For a long time I’ve thought that life was all about ticking things off a list of goals and creating mind-blowing resumes. Now I’m embracing all of life- EVERYTHING.

I am most grateful for the peace I have now rather than the weight of my good intentions.

God’s plan includes everything. Just like not every part of us is by itself appealing, and the sum of our parts makes us US, not every bit of life is by itself appealing, but the sum of it all is the life that God wants to use- that He wants to mold for good.

I accept.

Thank You LORD!