Living Intentionally: A Reflection
Growing up as a child was pretty much nice for me. I never needed attention (or maybe I did not think I needed it at the time). I was quite shy and reserved and quiet (this was not intentional anyway!) I went to a good school and was quite intelligent. However, I struggled a lot with something, and that was CONSISTENCY!
Before I got born again, I had previously done things anyway I wanted. I lived my life with little or no plans. In other words, I just went with the flow. I did not really follow any plans while I was in school and this cost me a lot in my results. One would think I had learnt my lesson but no! I just carried on living life the way I did, with no accountability or order.
I knew that this behavior was not helping my growth and it was also telling on everything that I did. So, sometimes I would draw a plan out to follow but somewhere before the day ended, I would stray. First, I did not have room for accountability – someone who would hold me accountable if derailed. Secondly, I did not even ask God for direction on this as I thought I could do it on my own. But I was wrong.
Anyway, fast forward to 2016 when I met my husband, I knew he was the one and I prayed to God for discernment about and he gave it to me – this story is for another day. My husband was my opposite. Where I went with the flow, he followed a plan.
He always had a plan, that had to be followed through. As if to rub my weakness in my face, he was consistent, and he made it look effortless. And there was me, ‘miss no plans’. Even if I did have one, I just didn’t follow through with it.
Being friends with my husband to be at the time, helped me see many things in a different light. After many years, I started to understand what it meant to be intentional. For you to be consistent you have to be intentional. I saw that in my husband, and the more I was around him the more I wanted to learn and unlearn. The difference I would say was that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I revived my ‘prayer life’ and desired to know God more. I realized that for me to know God more I just had to be intentional about it.
Fast-forward to when I got married, I was still struggling with my old ways. I did not want to get roped up in a routine; I just wanted to go with the flow of things. One day, I asked God to direct me on how to go about my life, and he answered me. That very day, I woke up feeling very bored and I felt too lazy to do anything. I just wanted to remain where I was. Now the phrase, “the idle mind is the devil’s workshop” had never sounded as true as it did that day. I knew that I needed to get up and get on with my day, but I was struggling. In my mind, what I had planned out was insignificant and I would not budge until something big and significant got me out of my bed. So, that day I ended up lying in bed all day, munching on snacks and waiting for that “someone” who would send me a text, asking me to do something big for them. Let me tell you what I gained that day. NOTHING. I gained absolutely nothing, and to be honest I lost a part of myself that day.
At the end of the day, leaving my mind open without guard had its consequences. I began to act like a crazy woman – complaining, nagging, just being overly emotional and irritable. I knew this was not God’s best for me. I knew that I had allowed negative thoughts and voices fill my mind with lies. Picture living like this every day!
I’m grateful to God for my husband who spoke to me that night. It was as if God were speaking to me. Proverbs 4:23 says “Guard your hearts with all diligence, for from it flows springs of life.” I prayed to God that night and told him that I wanted to be a better person. I had lived consistently but in the wrong direction for too long and it had made me miserable for just as long. After the talk I had with my husband, I took some action points and carved out a sort of plan for my day. It’s also important to note that I was unemployed through this period and that had added to my negative feelings.
I started to exercise in the mornings. I am still trying to keep it to four days in a week. At the moment I do three days a week. Sometimes I fall short to two. But I try never to go a week without going for a run. I also got a book to record my progress and consistency. My husband is my accountability partner on this one so that when I derail, he calls me back to order and reminds me of what I want to achieve. I started reading a book as well and to be fair, I started with only baby steps – at least one chapter every day.
This new way of life has really helped me get back my sanity, because I had struggled with serious anxiety that almost lead to depression, but God fought for me (again, story for another day).
I am getting used to being intentional about the things that I have chosen to do. Now, I don’t regard anything as insignificant; I recognize even the littlest things. When God gives you little, you make the most out of it. Don’t sit around idle waiting for your big break. I believe that when God gives us a break even if it’s the smallest opportunity then we do our best with it. I also believe that, God is preparing me with what he has given me. I may not have a job yet or know the next step in my journey but living intentionally and consistently where I am makes a difference. It is refreshing.
I am still a work in progress, definitely not where I was some years ago. Now I know, that life is not just physical but mostly spiritual. I know God is pruning me and taking me through the fire, the very fire that I would never have thought of going through. It is not the sweetest thing to do, but letting go and allowing God work on me is the surest way to go.
I am Isi Ekhomu. My identity is in Jesus Christ and worship is my place of solitude. I am still getting to know the many layers to me and many more to be discovered, but I will just give a brief about a few things I like. I am a food enthusiast; I love to explore different kinds of food and culture. I am currently working on a food project. I love to help people who are in need. One way I intend to do this is through my writing. I hope to inspire other people to be more and live their best lives.
Facebook page name: Letters to self
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