Boy-Girl Dynamics · Inspiration · Life Hacks · Relationships · Spiritual

Biblical Attraction (Part II) : The What

Last week I shared the foundation for my ideas about relationships and entering into them. This time, I’ll be sharing my beliefs about the “what”. This is not an exhaustive post, but addresses a specific mindset. Warning: this post might not express popular opinions.

What am I looking for in a partner? What is a relationship supposed to look like? What things should I consider before I get into one?

Many years ago, when I read the book of Acts (of the Apostles), I saw Stephen’s story in a new way. Just before the writer narrates Stephen’s death, he describes him as “a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit”. I remember thinking, “Wow. What a description.”

There are a number of people in the Bible who are praised for their attributes, but here are just a few quotes about them:

“For he was a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and of faith… ” (of Barnabas Acts 11:24)

” [he was] a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit… ” (of Stephen Acts 6:5)

“But this is not true of My servant Moses; he is faithful in all My house.” (God about Moses Numbers 12:7)

“…he was a learned man with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures” (of Apollos Acts 18:24)

“Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom… ” (Acts 6:3)





Haha. See what I did there? It’s a word for somebody. 😁

This brings me to the essence of this post: FRUIT.

Some time ago, I was watching Redefined TV, a channel on YouTube (awesome channel by the way), and the couple said this:

“Biblical attraction is based off of fruit not on potential. ”

Whoa. Worddd.

Here’s another:

“I’m not impressed by the potential that they have to become a…powerful man of God; I get drawn to the fact that I see them carrying the fruit of the Spirit.”

Come on somebody!

People of God it’s fruit, evidence, not hopes and wishes or possibilities.

I believe this is sound wisdom. While we are striving to bear fruit (if we aren’t we should get on it) , be useful in the kingdom of God, serve others, put our flesh under, do good and godly works, we should be looking out for such fruit in the person we are interested in or who is interested in us. No assuming. No wishing. No praying for God to magically make it happen so you can have everything you want.

No I’m not saying that we should look for perfection, but if for example I want the man I marry to be a leader, I should see him showing leadership on some level or the other by how he acts and handles situations.

I think I said what needed to be said in this post, but there are a million things we could all learn about relationships. The lesson on looking for fruit was a very difficult one for me to learn, and I hope it comes to you at a much needed time.

I’m also not saying that this is a perfect formula, which once applied solves all your problems or answers all your desires, but it’s a great place to start. It’s not fancy, it’s just wisdom, and I wish somebody explained this part to me a long time ago.

Here is some scripture we can surely keep in mind, for ourselves first, and then, as guides in recognizing the right partners:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law.” – (Galatians 5:22-23)

So, here’s to more hits and less misses in the times to come. Good luck! God’s grace! God’s speed!

AND much love!

2 thoughts on “Biblical Attraction (Part II) : The What

  1. Mema, this could not have come at a better time. Yes, I see what you did there. And I totally agree with the truths of this post. I’m lifted.

    Often, I get carried away buy how much I like someone, and then try to justify my getting together with them on the basis of what they are able to do for God IN THE FUTURE. I mean, they’re not all that bad today.

    No more. That is not God’s standard. I know for certain that when Paul commanded that any one burning with passion should go get married, he was basing it on the fact that we all should know we ought to get together with someone exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit.

    Spirit over passion. Over attraction. Over all.

    Thank you Mema. I have missed reading this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay! 😀 I’m glad you feel this way. I needed this change of direction myself – it was liberating to see this more clearly. And some times we feel like we’re missing out by letting go – but it’s exactly the opposite – we’re being intentional and walking right on track. God’s grace to us! Thanks for visiting and staying long enough.

      Liked by 1 person

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