When we are going through trials, God can seem silent. And in some ways, He is. It’s like one second He’s there in your life, and the next moment, when it’s most difficult, He seems distant, and His silence feels like the cruellest thing.
In my experience with God through trying times, I have learned that a little more trust is required. If God has shown Himself faithful in times past, would we forget in the times when we do not understand?
I finally understood the merit of the saying that when a student is being tested, the teacher is silent. I was going through a battle of my own, in my soul, and as in such moments I heard the deafening sound of His silence. Won’t You say something, lord? Won’t You at least say something? Show me something? Make this make some sense?
In that place, while I struggled back and forth, still struggling with His silence, I decided to make the hard choices. I told Him that I choose Him, and I would choose to trust in Him. As I said those words, my resolve grew. I choose You. Nothing is better than You; Your love is better than life. You are my home. In that moment, everything became clearer. I finally understood the lesson. This was not a time for God to speak, but to wait and to watch and to prod. I realised in that moment that I was in a battle for my soul, and God had known I would get to that place all this time. And all this time, He was preparing me.
Everything He did before that very moment started to make sense. I was ready for the test. It would be hard, but He had faith in me that I would overcome. And by His grace and ever present love, I did.
Sometimes His silence doesn’t make sense. Sometimes the real issue is what we choose when we are faced with difficult options. Do we give up, give in to our desires? Do we insist on our own way? Every single time I’ve had to go through something like what I went through, the real issue has always been about my mind and my heart. And I have always been changed by the experience. It’s the moulding process. Remember that this is the work God is presently doing in our lives; He’s moulding us, transforming us.
God’s silence should move us to seek His face alone and no other. We must choose Him above all gods. We must again and again choose the LORD.
Always win in my life, lord, and let me always be on Your side.