Hmmm. I couldn’t wait to write this post, but it’s taken a week to put it down. I’ll be honest and say I find it a little daunting a task.
The journey is the discovery.
It’s something freeing for me to put those words down. It’s like I’m experiencing a catharsis.
I had waited for years of my life for the future of my dreams – the all-time answers to all my heart’s desires. And then my future came. And it wasn’t all I expected it to be. So much was changing about my views on life, so much about who I was, and who I was becoming.
I believe that there will be “its” in my life, little “its” and big “its”. But I have learned rather slowly over a period of time, that the “its” aren’t always what I think they would be. I was waiting for that aha! moment – the moment when I make my biggest discoveries or feel great accomplishment; the moment I’d feel like “this is it”.
When I clocked 25 last year, and through my 25th year, I experienced some sort of mid midlife disillusions. I had to ask myself some tough questions, and dig deep to the root of my desires.
When I say I’ve given my life to Christ, it means I’ve surrendered all to God. It means I’ve made the ultimate leap of faith, and it means that I trust God. With my life. When I say I trust God with my life, it means that I know and rely on His love for me. It means that I’m willing for Him to lead the adventure, while I follow wholeheartedly, joyfully, ecstatically, even, because I know He’ll lead me on the greatest journey and through the best route there is. It means through many dangers, toils and snares, I won’t get off the train. I trust God more than I trust myself. I trust God period.
And when He leads me through unknown roads, I’ll be sure He knows what He’s doing and where He’s leading, and I’ll be sure He’s loving me all the way to the end.
So for the first time, really, I’m looking at my map, and going north. I don’t know all the stops I’ll make, and the places I’ll see. I don’t know the dangers I’ll encounter or the friends I’ll make. But I’m content, and more than content, I’m joyful, hopeful, carefree!
I’m going on an adventure, and I know the end, where ‘X’ marks the treasure. I know who’s leading me, but I don’t know all the roads I’ll take, and now, I don’t think I care. I’m just where He means me to be. And every now and then, He does something so fantastically wonderful that I just stop and say, “I love You too, and I trust You; You know I’m not going anywhere.”