Just as a quick note, I started this post about four or five days ago. Don’t ask me why I didn’t try to post it sooner because I don’t know. 😀
One lesson I’ve learned for real this time, is that to truly live, we have to be vulnerable. (I’m starting from the end here, people. Stay with me. 🙂 )
I saw a video by Jefferson Bethke called “To Love Is To Be Vulnerable” some time ago. I now know that I didn’t understand what it meant. Let me explain.
The past year was the hardest and also the most revealing for me. One thing I taught myself was self protection. I learned to put up walls because I learned that I could not depend on people to make me happy. But what I didn’t know was that I COULD really be happy regardless of what I had painfully discovered.
I cheated myself of real joy and happiness. I tried to be grateful and thankful to God each day for all His blessings. But everything was not alright.
It seemed that I had to come to the point where I had to be honest with myself about my life. Even though things were going beautifully well for me, I WAS NOT HAPPY.
I called out to God in my frustration and He showed me that I had kept my heart too safe. Too safe even from love and joy and happiness. He showed me that I could be happy. Not just ok happy, but that I could be tremendously happy! I could be happy regardless of my circumstances. I could be free to be happy!
It may shock you that this revelation came as a shock to me. After being so long in the dark, something so simple seemed so profound. Wow.
This is what joy really is. It’s not weird or abstract and it’s not something we’re supposed to pretend that we have either. It’s free and nice and cute and pretty. It’s all those things and more.
Give yourself the permission to be happy. We can trust and be vulnerable because God is there to protect us. We don’t need to do that ourselves. Not when the love of our lives is watching over us, counting the hairs on our heads, keeping us safe in our sleep.
I give myself the permission to be happy. Happiness starts here and now. 😀
Thank You LORD!